There is a truth I must face. This book will not be done by its expected completion date. I bemoan the fact that in my heart I know I will feel like I am letting people down. And it won't matter if they tell me they're not disappointed or if they try and make me feel better about it. I will go through this disappointment. And it won't matter if they tell me how utterly crestfallen they are at not being able to read this book when it was originally promised either. Because just as I must go through the disappointment of feeling as I have let everyone down, myself included, I must go through the eventual realization that the only thing that matters in this whole process is the growth I have gone through to get this point. A point where, in the same post I can simultaneously write about being ashamed to not complete such a huge goal in the time I had set out for, and the eventual forgiveness I will offer myself when I work through my shame and truly identify it as something that is not real. Only a construct of my mind. And this I do by simply (ha) remembering that what my mind constructs is up to me in the end, so why wouldn't I create a loving supportive dialogue for myself. Because as many times I remember it, is as many times as I forget. The creation of this dialogue takes courage and strength and a will to believe I deserve it, which is the gift of growth. And anyone who has sat and watched an acorn grow into a mighty oak knows growth takes time.
I am thankful for and blessed by my journey and my patience (although sometimes fleeting) with myself. And I am truly grateful to live in the miraculous company of those who support me and encourage me to not give up.
The books will be finished. You will read them and may love them. And our journeys will continue, for all we have to do is keep putting one sublimely imperfect foot in front of the other, blindly and unwittingly creating each our perfect paths through the forest of life. Safe travels.
cheers
