There was a dream you were in last night and I don’t remember much about it. That is generally the way with my dreams. I know there are ways to get better at this. I haven’t tried yet. There were three of you or three main events that happened. I cant remember. and that’s the main thing I remember. I remember you being short and stout. Solid. And you were worried, so worried about something. I was helping to calm you, but you kept losing me, or I kept going away, drifting away.
I am quite sure this dream was a result of reading your posts on the website yesterday. I do continuously think about you. And i know I always will. And I am perfectly fine with that and have been for along time.
I am at peace with loving you. I have realized and acknowledged a deeper sense of myself, where I can love someone who doesn’t love me the same. And expect nothing from them in return. Something I would claim I did, when the truth was it was what I wanted to be able to do, and couldn’t. I have crested that wave where I needed some sort of validation from you. And I now can use this wisdom as a touchstone for so many other aspects of my life that deal with thinking I need outer validation to return feelings or beliefs I have about something. I am learning to do this. It’s much easier when I remember I have the wisdom so I can avoid getting wrapped up in feelings of inadequacy or low self-worth when I am rejected, no matter the form. Work promotions given to others, relationships that don’t pan out, struggles with my children, actually any disappointment that I can choose to see as something else entirely. As long as I remember to acknowledge the wisdom I have already learned through my experiences. That, in and of itself, is wisdom right there, too.
