As I spoke with one of my dearest friends on skype last night, I was telling her about the new revelations I have come to in working on the book. As I was telling her, it dawned on me that this would be a great place to jot them down as well, since this is the place I created to follow and archive, if you will, my process and progress.
I have realized that during the first few months I was here, I spent my time following the whim of my explorers soul, seeking out and excitedly discovering new places while fairly successfully fending off the guilt monster who wanted to ambush me at any weakness of conviction for "not working." I somehow maintained my conviction that I was not always going to understand the process, but I would keep my focus on trusting my instincts and listening to that little voice of intuition that somehow always guides me right. And in doing so, I shockingly did not visit a library for the first month and a half at least, always telling myself not to worry about it and that I was following the way I felt and still very much moving forward in my research process.
With the departure of my first visitor in the end of March, the guilt monster snuck in while I was distracted and wreaked havoc on my poor soul for a few confidence-shattering, courage-ravaging self-esteem-destroying days, and after the dust had settled and I remembered it was essentially only me responsible for the thoughts I was thinking, I picked myself back up and found after all the havoc had been wreaked, I was standing in entirely new terrain. And not only new terrain, but with a wholly new perspective as well. I am humbled and brought to tears by this process I have been allowed to witness unfolding before my own amazed eyes and heart, and I have charged right into this new terrain, complete with brand new vantage points and discoveries to be made.
I now feel I am on to the second chapter of my research over here. The books. The archives. The gracious librarians. The vast ocean of knowledge and information recorded before me and for me to traverse in my little sailboat of a novel plot. I told myself I wanted to sail in a sailboat over here more than anything, and I suppose I could count this as that voyage.
And the most revolutionary part of this is, without having allowed myself to entertain and honor my explorers soul, who I was able to recognize as needing to have a look around first, I would have no map for this incredible voyage across such an expanse of information. I now, in myself, have reference points. When I am reading about places, I know those places. When I am reading about the people of this country, I understand them on a far deeper level than I ever could have hoped, had I not spent time with them. The kind people of the wonderful towns in County Wicklow, eager to help and more than accommodating to sit and have a chat, have helped me to this end.
I have unwittingly given myself the tools I needed to extract the most from the research I am now compiling, and I could not have dreamed of planning it better had I tried. Which I didn't really, and maybe that's why. Maybe that's why I felt so safe in not having things planned to a "T", and when I would start to hem myself in by scheduling things out too far in advance, it sometimes created an apprehension, an unease, in me. It would come from the intention behind my scheduling. When my intent was me wanting something to happen, it felt good to have it scheduled, still knowing the plans could change at any moment. But when I scheduled things because I felt like I wasn't getting enough done, so I had better hurry up and schedule something, anything! (guilt monster) I would be left feeling panicky and not sure if I had done the right thing and wondering if I scheduled it wrong, or any number of uncomfortable feelings, not always easily recognizable at the time.
When I let myself be drawn forward by following the lighted path of my guidance (sometimes lit so dimly I have to stop and wait), still always attentive to my world and being a willing participant in its activities, I know I am travelling along a path that will take me to where my dreams are real. Where this book is complete and honors those whose story it tells. I do feel like finishing this book will be a bit of a quest for me, but not in a scary way, in an exciting way. With not thinking, will I ever get it done, but instead thinking, I am so excited that this will be finished one day!
Thank you for these insights. Thank you for this awareness. Thank you for these human traits I am blessed to manifest. And thank you for the divine spirit that manifests itself in me (is me).
cheers
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Monday, April 20, 2015
The Quest
As life settles back into a fairly normal routine again of school for the kids and research ventures for me, the feeling of serenity has slipped back into my heart. Sometimes the things we most want are the very things that can seem the most daunting and I experienced that in a wholly new degree of late. The level of which I experienced the doubts that came to me can possibly be explained by the level of which these accomplishments I am working to attain exist. In short, the higher the expectations and goals, the higher the intensity of doubts and fear.
I remain proud of myself for keeping on in the forward direction, even though there have been times I have wated to pack it all up and call it quits. I know the detriment of halting an unfinished task based on fear of the outcome. And I have always tried to live a life without regrets.
While my daughter was away at a slumber party, my son and I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy (after her slumber party turned into a whole weekend affair) and I was brought to tears more than once over the wise words of those on that remarkable quest. Granted, I am not carrying a ring that has the undead following me to take it and return it to their evil sorcerer master, having to traverse through treacherous terrain while being hunted by any number of creatures, with the fate of the all that is good in the world resting in my hands. But I think that no matter how big or small your task is, no matter who you are or what you have gone through, you can exponentially benefit from hearing encouraging words and being reminded that there is always hope, no matter how small, of success on any endeavor you put your heart into.
And so I must remind myself, my heart is in this quest. And there is a hope of success. And whether I am daunted or not, I will continue moving forward in it, taking small steps when I am too fearful to take any at all, and leaping over vast valleys and flying over tops of unbelievably high walls when I feel the strength of courage burning deep in my soul, carrying me along. Thank you for my strength.
cheers
I remain proud of myself for keeping on in the forward direction, even though there have been times I have wated to pack it all up and call it quits. I know the detriment of halting an unfinished task based on fear of the outcome. And I have always tried to live a life without regrets.
While my daughter was away at a slumber party, my son and I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy (after her slumber party turned into a whole weekend affair) and I was brought to tears more than once over the wise words of those on that remarkable quest. Granted, I am not carrying a ring that has the undead following me to take it and return it to their evil sorcerer master, having to traverse through treacherous terrain while being hunted by any number of creatures, with the fate of the all that is good in the world resting in my hands. But I think that no matter how big or small your task is, no matter who you are or what you have gone through, you can exponentially benefit from hearing encouraging words and being reminded that there is always hope, no matter how small, of success on any endeavor you put your heart into.
And so I must remind myself, my heart is in this quest. And there is a hope of success. And whether I am daunted or not, I will continue moving forward in it, taking small steps when I am too fearful to take any at all, and leaping over vast valleys and flying over tops of unbelievably high walls when I feel the strength of courage burning deep in my soul, carrying me along. Thank you for my strength.
cheers
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Illumination
Having the ones you love come visit you in a foreign country creates emotions that are unforeseen and raises issues you could have previously been unaware of. And by "you" I mean me, of course.
What am I doing? Why am I here? Why am I dragging my children around on this crazy half-cooked "adventure" to try and accomplish something I am not even sure I am capable of. I have never written a book! Renovating a house? Sure. Took me forever, but I did it. Raising kids? Never wanted to before I had them, but now can't imagine my life without them. Leaving the security of a blossoming life to follow my heart halfway across the country? No problem!
Yet maybe, just maybe, leaving the security of not attempting a dream of enormous proportions is a bit too much. Plunging into the unknown has often seemed more sane to me than safely sticking to the predictable known path and it has undeniably brought me to many of the most treasured moments and people in my life. But was this plunge just too much? I feel I am desperately unprepared and am groping for one single light switch dangling on a thin wire from the ceiling of a huge pitch black national museum, just hoping I'll happen to stumble upon it before my time runs out and I am kicked out before ever having a chance to find the light and see the treasures held within. I am afraid it will all be for nothing. I am afraid I will fail. I am here, feeling very much alone, and knowing full well I am the one responsible for putting myself here.
And yet, even as I am writing these words, I hear the same little voices in my head that helped get me to this point, amidst this amazing and remarkable opportunity. Kind voices resonant with my belief in a loving power that supports us all. They whisper to me through the rantings of my self-sabotage, reminding me of the strength and courage I already possess and the unyielding love that unites us all on our common goals of wanting to live the best lives we know how and to help others along their paths.
So now, after this moment of acknowledging my very human based fear of misdirection and utter failure, I am faced with the decision to share this fear or delete the post and start a new one. I choose to hold off and go on Facebook instead. Here is what I found making its way up my newsfeed almost immediately.
"I know we want it all happy and positive, but that's just not where much of humanity is. Many of us are overwhelmed with pain, undigested sadness, unexpressed anger, unseen truths. This is where we are at, as a collective. So we have two choices. We can continue to pretend it's not there, shame and shun it in ourselves and others, distract and detach whenever possible. Or we can face it heart-on, own it within ourselves, look for it in others with compassion, create a culture that is focused on authenticity and healthy emotional release. If we continue to push it all down, we are both creating illness and delaying our collective expansion. But if we can just own the shadow, express it, release it, love each other through it, we can finally graduate from the School of Heart Knocks and begin to enjoy this magnificent life as we were intended. Pretending the pain isn't there just embeds it further. Let's illuminate it instead." Jeff Brown, author of Soulshaping and Love It Forward
Okay. I got the point. I will say, I am luckily far from being overwhelmed with pain, undigested sadness, unexpressed anger or unseen truths, although I have lived there in my life. But I do possess them within myself. And Jeff Brown's post seemed to hit at the very reason I went on Facebook instead of finishing and posting the truths I had just allowed to surface on this page. Not the bullshit I was telling myself about my inability to achieve this dream, but the acknowledgement of the bullshit existing in my psyche. Maybe one can argue it needs to be there so the stronger, true voice can have a place to chime in, I don't know. But what I do know is that this passage from Jeff Brown this morning is the direct reason I am leaving this blog post as it is, to illuminate a fear I know I have, but that I also know does not control me.
As much as I like to focus on the positive, and happily do so, I cannot deny that these insecurities exist within me. They are a part of me and I acknowledge them. I do not, however, dwell on them nor let them take root within other truths I know to be real, such as the unabated belief that the Universe conspires on my behalf and that I am a strong, capable being able to accomplish anything. It is a daily effort on my part to remind myself of these things, and what is even more exciting to me, is that I am not unique. It is true about each and every one of us. Remembering this makes me feel not alone anymore, but in the company of the most amazing souls on the planet: Us. Thank you for sharing this day with me and thank you for shining your light. I won't need to find that museum light switch in the dark if I remember I've had a flashlight in my pocket the whole time.
cheers
What am I doing? Why am I here? Why am I dragging my children around on this crazy half-cooked "adventure" to try and accomplish something I am not even sure I am capable of. I have never written a book! Renovating a house? Sure. Took me forever, but I did it. Raising kids? Never wanted to before I had them, but now can't imagine my life without them. Leaving the security of a blossoming life to follow my heart halfway across the country? No problem!
Yet maybe, just maybe, leaving the security of not attempting a dream of enormous proportions is a bit too much. Plunging into the unknown has often seemed more sane to me than safely sticking to the predictable known path and it has undeniably brought me to many of the most treasured moments and people in my life. But was this plunge just too much? I feel I am desperately unprepared and am groping for one single light switch dangling on a thin wire from the ceiling of a huge pitch black national museum, just hoping I'll happen to stumble upon it before my time runs out and I am kicked out before ever having a chance to find the light and see the treasures held within. I am afraid it will all be for nothing. I am afraid I will fail. I am here, feeling very much alone, and knowing full well I am the one responsible for putting myself here.
And yet, even as I am writing these words, I hear the same little voices in my head that helped get me to this point, amidst this amazing and remarkable opportunity. Kind voices resonant with my belief in a loving power that supports us all. They whisper to me through the rantings of my self-sabotage, reminding me of the strength and courage I already possess and the unyielding love that unites us all on our common goals of wanting to live the best lives we know how and to help others along their paths.
So now, after this moment of acknowledging my very human based fear of misdirection and utter failure, I am faced with the decision to share this fear or delete the post and start a new one. I choose to hold off and go on Facebook instead. Here is what I found making its way up my newsfeed almost immediately.
"I know we want it all happy and positive, but that's just not where much of humanity is. Many of us are overwhelmed with pain, undigested sadness, unexpressed anger, unseen truths. This is where we are at, as a collective. So we have two choices. We can continue to pretend it's not there, shame and shun it in ourselves and others, distract and detach whenever possible. Or we can face it heart-on, own it within ourselves, look for it in others with compassion, create a culture that is focused on authenticity and healthy emotional release. If we continue to push it all down, we are both creating illness and delaying our collective expansion. But if we can just own the shadow, express it, release it, love each other through it, we can finally graduate from the School of Heart Knocks and begin to enjoy this magnificent life as we were intended. Pretending the pain isn't there just embeds it further. Let's illuminate it instead." Jeff Brown, author of Soulshaping and Love It Forward
Okay. I got the point. I will say, I am luckily far from being overwhelmed with pain, undigested sadness, unexpressed anger or unseen truths, although I have lived there in my life. But I do possess them within myself. And Jeff Brown's post seemed to hit at the very reason I went on Facebook instead of finishing and posting the truths I had just allowed to surface on this page. Not the bullshit I was telling myself about my inability to achieve this dream, but the acknowledgement of the bullshit existing in my psyche. Maybe one can argue it needs to be there so the stronger, true voice can have a place to chime in, I don't know. But what I do know is that this passage from Jeff Brown this morning is the direct reason I am leaving this blog post as it is, to illuminate a fear I know I have, but that I also know does not control me.
As much as I like to focus on the positive, and happily do so, I cannot deny that these insecurities exist within me. They are a part of me and I acknowledge them. I do not, however, dwell on them nor let them take root within other truths I know to be real, such as the unabated belief that the Universe conspires on my behalf and that I am a strong, capable being able to accomplish anything. It is a daily effort on my part to remind myself of these things, and what is even more exciting to me, is that I am not unique. It is true about each and every one of us. Remembering this makes me feel not alone anymore, but in the company of the most amazing souls on the planet: Us. Thank you for sharing this day with me and thank you for shining your light. I won't need to find that museum light switch in the dark if I remember I've had a flashlight in my pocket the whole time.
cheers
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Visitors make the blog take a vacation, too
Or, at least that's my excuse this time;)
I had the wonderful delight to have my children's grandmother come for an almost two week visit. The adventures we went on were positively fantastic and superb, however they did little in the way of furthering my research endeavors. I could have gone and worked, but I wanted to hang out instead. :) C'est la vie. I am not bothered by it. On the contrary, it has developed in me a shifted focus in the dedication and direction of my research. It may be said I now feel a different type of heat put on. Pressure is the world's best motivator. Well, it's mine at least.
Two new libraries in the past four days and a hearty acknowledgement that there is a lot here I still need to look at. Traipsing around in the woods and aimlessly (but never without purpose) discovering new places for inspiration were absolutely necessary for the first half of this trip, but now it is time to put the pedal to the proverbial metal and reach high gear in the scouring over books part of it. Now that I have a feel for the land, I can apply the words I read at a deeper level of understanding within myself. The complex texture of the fabric of societal and political threads during the time I am researching keeps warping and twisting in my mind and I feel sometimes I will never be able to wrap my mind around exactly what was going on in the hearts of people in this area during the war. Each time I think I have something concrete figured out, some other bit of history comes along to upset whatever belief I thought I had just so firmly grasped. Nothing to do but to keep going.
I feel farther away from Sophia than I think I've ever felt before, but it may be in part to how hard I am struggling to understand her. Like I am trying to force her to divulge things about herself to me when, more often in situations dealing with wanting someone to share their deeper beliefs with you, the best course of action is to be patient yet vigilant to when it might be their right time to divulge and share their emotions and thoughts on the situations. I know already how she feels about Tristan's leaving, Saul's arriving and Daniel. But I want to know why. And that's where I suppose I am going to have to be patient.
And while I can be as patient as I like about waiting for Sophia, I cannot exercise the same patience about exploring the annals of history at the local libraries here. I am looking forward to my discoveries and revelations and am hoping my mind will finally be able to make sense of the motivations behind the actions of my characters, making absolutely sure each character is created and kept in honest accordance with the history of the time.
cheers
I had the wonderful delight to have my children's grandmother come for an almost two week visit. The adventures we went on were positively fantastic and superb, however they did little in the way of furthering my research endeavors. I could have gone and worked, but I wanted to hang out instead. :) C'est la vie. I am not bothered by it. On the contrary, it has developed in me a shifted focus in the dedication and direction of my research. It may be said I now feel a different type of heat put on. Pressure is the world's best motivator. Well, it's mine at least.
Two new libraries in the past four days and a hearty acknowledgement that there is a lot here I still need to look at. Traipsing around in the woods and aimlessly (but never without purpose) discovering new places for inspiration were absolutely necessary for the first half of this trip, but now it is time to put the pedal to the proverbial metal and reach high gear in the scouring over books part of it. Now that I have a feel for the land, I can apply the words I read at a deeper level of understanding within myself. The complex texture of the fabric of societal and political threads during the time I am researching keeps warping and twisting in my mind and I feel sometimes I will never be able to wrap my mind around exactly what was going on in the hearts of people in this area during the war. Each time I think I have something concrete figured out, some other bit of history comes along to upset whatever belief I thought I had just so firmly grasped. Nothing to do but to keep going.
I feel farther away from Sophia than I think I've ever felt before, but it may be in part to how hard I am struggling to understand her. Like I am trying to force her to divulge things about herself to me when, more often in situations dealing with wanting someone to share their deeper beliefs with you, the best course of action is to be patient yet vigilant to when it might be their right time to divulge and share their emotions and thoughts on the situations. I know already how she feels about Tristan's leaving, Saul's arriving and Daniel. But I want to know why. And that's where I suppose I am going to have to be patient.
And while I can be as patient as I like about waiting for Sophia, I cannot exercise the same patience about exploring the annals of history at the local libraries here. I am looking forward to my discoveries and revelations and am hoping my mind will finally be able to make sense of the motivations behind the actions of my characters, making absolutely sure each character is created and kept in honest accordance with the history of the time.
cheers
Friday, March 13, 2015
Thanks be to Blessings!
Yes, yes. It has been awhile. Lots happening, though! I posted last time about a place called Kilmacurragh and since then I have gotten the fortuitous chance to meet the last personal owners, thanks to a very kind chap I have been having the pleasure of sharing breakfasts with on Tuesday mornings before my pottery class. After a phone call from him, I got to drop in (along with a fantastic fellow mother from the kids' school who was the first to walk me through Kilmacurragh) and visit a very kind couple called Bill and Kathleen Dolan, from whom I heard some wonderful stories about the history of the house. I also had the honor of getting to see a book Bill had personally made (only one in existence) about the house and the famous trees that populate its property. It was a joy to be welcomed into their home to share in their knowledge of the house's history, and I am grateful for their kindness in taking time to see me.
That evening followed with an attendance to a book launch about the Kilmacurragh Gardens with Joanna, the same fantastic fellow mother from before. We went down to Gorey, not quite knowing what to expect, but each with our own reasons for wanting to discover more about this place; me for my story and her for a deeper understanding of a place she has been connected to her whole life. We were not disappointed in what we found and both left after the event feeling quite elated by what had transpired.
The beautifully made book, Kilmacurragh: Sourced in the Wild (click to learn more) was written and photographed by local photographer and writer, Megan O'Beirne, over the past five years, and serves as a lovely tribute to both the plants and world-renown trees at Kilmacurragh, but also gives an informative history of the house, which has now been in ruins for years. Hearing her speak about the connection she forged with Kilmacurragh since the first time she saw it, in 2009 while looking for an outdoor venue for a gallery showing of her work, brought surprising tears to my eyes. As I listened to her speak, I felt a chord of resonance struck within me. I have immensely enjoyed meeting her and pouring through her book, as it is now a permanent fixture in my collection.
Introducing Megan at her launch was the former Keeper of the National Archives in Dublin, Ken Hannigan, a very kind gentleman whom I most fortunately got to speak with at some length. Knowing I had definitely gotten the blessed luck of speaking with the right man, I left him with my email after he recommended I read over some transcripts of interviews conducted several years ago of anecdotal quality from the local elderly to try and capture some of the history of the area as I'm sure only a local could tell it. They are amazing to read. I am grateful for his interest in my project and for taking the time out to send good information my way!
I am running out of time for this one, but sufficed to say, progress is charging wildly ahead and I remain thankful and blessed for all that is bestowed upon me!!! Sending love and big hugs to all!!
St. Paddy's is this Tuesday....WOOT!
That evening followed with an attendance to a book launch about the Kilmacurragh Gardens with Joanna, the same fantastic fellow mother from before. We went down to Gorey, not quite knowing what to expect, but each with our own reasons for wanting to discover more about this place; me for my story and her for a deeper understanding of a place she has been connected to her whole life. We were not disappointed in what we found and both left after the event feeling quite elated by what had transpired.
The beautifully made book, Kilmacurragh: Sourced in the Wild (click to learn more) was written and photographed by local photographer and writer, Megan O'Beirne, over the past five years, and serves as a lovely tribute to both the plants and world-renown trees at Kilmacurragh, but also gives an informative history of the house, which has now been in ruins for years. Hearing her speak about the connection she forged with Kilmacurragh since the first time she saw it, in 2009 while looking for an outdoor venue for a gallery showing of her work, brought surprising tears to my eyes. As I listened to her speak, I felt a chord of resonance struck within me. I have immensely enjoyed meeting her and pouring through her book, as it is now a permanent fixture in my collection.
Introducing Megan at her launch was the former Keeper of the National Archives in Dublin, Ken Hannigan, a very kind gentleman whom I most fortunately got to speak with at some length. Knowing I had definitely gotten the blessed luck of speaking with the right man, I left him with my email after he recommended I read over some transcripts of interviews conducted several years ago of anecdotal quality from the local elderly to try and capture some of the history of the area as I'm sure only a local could tell it. They are amazing to read. I am grateful for his interest in my project and for taking the time out to send good information my way!
I am running out of time for this one, but sufficed to say, progress is charging wildly ahead and I remain thankful and blessed for all that is bestowed upon me!!! Sending love and big hugs to all!!
St. Paddy's is this Tuesday....WOOT!
Monday, February 23, 2015
Kilmacurragh, Powerscourt and our adventures on the West Coast
**All photos in this post are from the internet, not taken by me**
Goodness gracious! I didn't count. but that may have been the longest stretch of no blogging so far. Excuses, go!
Goodness gracious! I didn't count. but that may have been the longest stretch of no blogging so far. Excuses, go!
- My kids had a week long mid-term break from school. It sure is a lot more hectic having those two little angels home from school every day! (Redemption: They did chill in a coffee shop twice with me while I wrote. Good kids.)
- Umm... Yeah... Still no wifi at the house. (Redemption: I finally got the piece of mail I need to fill out and mail back in to get the piece of mail I need to go open my bank account and go and open my wifi account. Like Alice down the rabbit hole this wifi adventure has been!)
- While my kids were on break, we traveled across the country to the West Coast and tried to check out Clare Island, where the Pirate Queen of the 16th century, Grania O'Malley was from. Atlantic swells prevented us from catching the ferry to go on the island, but we did get to see it from afar. Why this prevented me from writing my blog, I don't know. I just wanted a number three on this.
While I went a while without posting, the kids and I did get to go on a few great adventures. We went to the Museum of Country Living in Castlebar (for my purposes) located next to a beautiful old house, restored and functioning as offices for the museum, called the Turlough House.
In this photo, the museum is off to the left of the house.
After making a record breaking fast trip through the museum we took the trail around the grounds and decided to go see the ocean. We drove out to Achill Island and saw beautiful coastline and crashing waves. The ocean was a deep teal color and the rush of the waves colliding with the rocks threw a magnificent spray, creating a dynamic visual display. The mountain goats didn't seem as impressed, but they did impress the kids, who did impressions of them. It was quite a spectacle.
The second day, we winded along the coastline south from Westport, where we had stayed, and explored more coastline on our way down to Kylemore Abbey. I guess it can be said that keeping your eye on the gas tank isn't as important as interpreting and doing something about what you see. I watched it descend, and I did stop at a station, but without an ATM around and only fifteen euros in my wallet, I decided to just wait and fill up after we found an ATM. So, in the next town, I found the ATM, but not the station. Eh, I figured I'd just do it at the next town. And away we went, the kids contentedly listening to C.S. Lewis on an audio book, and I expertly trusting we'd make it. It was then we were presented with driving down through the exquisite Dough Loo Pass with the gas light on the whole way. It took everything I had to not stop and take pictures at every turn out, knowing that we were going to be quite lucky if we made it to Leenane, the next town, and hoping Leenane had a gas station! The voice in my head went on about how silly I had been for not turning around in the town that had the ATM to find petrol, but I kept drowning it out with a mantra of, "We'll make it to a service station. We'll make it to a service station," willing the car to take us safely to a pump, its reward being a full belly upon arrival. I am happy to report my mantra worked! We coasted through Leenane twice on fumes until I realized the one petrol pump was on the curb in front of a pub. We pulled over and got petrol and a bottle of water and were on our way to Kylemore Abbey!
We stopped at Kylemore and had a wonderful time exploring the expansive Victorian Walled Garden and the parts of the Abbey open to visitors, The Abbey is still being used by Benedictine Nuns, who moved in after their Abbey in Ypres, Belgium they lived in since the 1600s was destroyed early in WWI. Down a bit along the lake, stands a Gothic-style cathedral we visited, also. The carvings inside were intricate and breathtaking. We each lit a candle at the prayer alter and then made our way back along the lake. Stopping at the cafe, we enjoyed some of the most delicious soup I've ever had, served with gluten free rolls! It was a magical day and a magical holiday! I can't wait to see the West Coast in the spring. With how beautiful it was now, I can only imagine what it will be like after everything blooms!
The highlight for the kids: the swimming pool at the hotel. Period.
So, as you can see, it has been a busy week and I am glad for the first time that the kids are back at school. (sorry guys, no offence) I can go back to my schedule of following wherever I feel the urge to go for my research each day and it feels great. Like coming to Halperin's this morning to sit at my computer and type this. I've been excited to do this for two days now!
Like I said in Excuse #1, I did get to write a bit over the week which was grand. I came across an exciting envelope in the story, but we left the coffee shop before I got through writing what was in the envelope and I forgot. So that'll come back to me, I'm sure. At least I can remember who the letter in it pertains to, so that's a start.
Last Monday, we went up to Powerscourt House and Gardens and ran into some classmates of the kids and their mom. We had a lovely day walking around the gardens with them and I even got a sketch done!
The gardens at Powerscourt were listed as one of the top ten gardens to visit in the world recently, and it could easily be seen why. The gardens began in the 1730s and have been cultivated and loving cared for throughout the lineage of the residents of the gorgeous Powerscourt House overseeing their maintenance and updating over the years. The gardens are a little too splendid to be the basis for Sophia's family's gardens, but they did show me a fantastic walled garden area that was promising.
The Friday before, however, I got to see a ruined house and triumphant garden only fifteen minutes from where we live. It is all and all very promising and I am excited to go back on Wednesday for another look. I am speaking of a place called Kilmacurragh, now a National Botanic Garden and home to one of the most important collections of mature exotic trees in the world.
Walking through the land, it felt familiar, as if I could almost see Sophia walking around there, with the forests creating themselves far behind the house and gardens for my purposes. And even the house spoke to me of her home. As I said, the once gorgeous house unfortunately fell to ruin when most all of the men who either owned it, or oversaw it died in WWI. The remaining family did not have the means to care for the house. It was ran as a Hotel for a bit, but was eventually taken over by the Land Commission after disputes of land ownership. Still, looking at old pictures of it and seeing the ruins myself, I feel like they are pieces of the puzzle I am collecting. Here is a link to an article about its present condition, including a picture of what it looked like in 1932.
Well, by now I'm sure the lovely ladies at this coffee shop are wondering if I'm moving in, so I better be off. It's been nice to get caught up. I think I even kinda missed you, blog. Hope all's well in your world, whoever is reading this. Much love!
cheers
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
writing the shadows with the light
It's quite uncomfortable having to write the characters you really love as being human and having moments of, shall we say, cruelty. I understand it's part of the process, but it is still upsetting nonetheless to have to portray the ugly side of someone you have come to love because you know that person winds up having such a beautiful side, it shines beyond any ugliness that was once there. But I suppose it's just as much my job to paint the ugly as it is to paint the beauty. And just as important to truly portray an honest arc of growth throughout the storyline. Sigh... It still leaves me uncomfortable.
And what this cruelty creates for the others in the story is rough as well. I want to comfort them. It's like having kids and you want to tell them, it's okay, it's all going to be okay! I know it all works out in the end! But it wouldn't help telling them because they have to learn it on their own. And honestly there's no way for me to completely know if it does all work out for my characters in the end until the end is written. I sure hope it will work out. It's much easier in real life because, as a wise woman once told me, "everything works out in the end. so if it's not working out, it's not the end." Not as true for a book. I certainly hope it all works out. I have faith in my characters, but they too, are still just human. Nothing to do I suppose but to keep writing and hope for the best.
cheers
And what this cruelty creates for the others in the story is rough as well. I want to comfort them. It's like having kids and you want to tell them, it's okay, it's all going to be okay! I know it all works out in the end! But it wouldn't help telling them because they have to learn it on their own. And honestly there's no way for me to completely know if it does all work out for my characters in the end until the end is written. I sure hope it will work out. It's much easier in real life because, as a wise woman once told me, "everything works out in the end. so if it's not working out, it's not the end." Not as true for a book. I certainly hope it all works out. I have faith in my characters, but they too, are still just human. Nothing to do I suppose but to keep writing and hope for the best.
cheers
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