Setting Sail into the Last Month

One month left. Even knowing this time would come hasn't made it any easier in it arriving. Regrets lurk in the shadows waiting to pounce as soon as my spirits waver, falter in trying to keep themselves abreast in the tumultuous waves of my soul they ride upon. My spirits are strong. Courageous even. They have brought me this far and they will continue to carry me on, but they are still rooted, right now at least, in my very human existence. And it is here that the shadows are cast and regret and doubt stake their claim.

A pressure sits heavy on my chest this morning. Like a cruel cat, tail switching with every ticking second that lapses, counting down the time until I am boarding a plane back to the states and this experience is over. Could I ever have done enough to satiate this feline ferocity dominating my sacral chakra? Do I even have the power to tell it to leave? How can I banish something I cannot see, only feel with such a sinister weight?
I can remind myself of a dear friend who helped alleviate some of the pressure many many months ago, before I stepped into this grand adventure. I can remember what she told me and how it felt. I can remember to spring right on up and over the wall, with one great beat of my wings. But most importantly I can remember who was there to show me my wings.

I will be scared I did this all wrong, that I could have done it better, that I should have done more of this or less of that. But I will remind myself that I can coexist with this fear, acknowledge it but not let it overtake my days. Not let it steal these remaining few days, a fact that lends to its strength of dominance in my soul, from the well deserving vessel of my spirit cascading ahead in the ocean of my soul. Fears, regrets or doubts may rock the bow, but they will never capsize this beautiful sleek little ship, forged from years of rough waters and hurricanes raging across the seascape of my soul.

So it is on to calmer waters in this last month of this first trip. It is on to continued discoveries of the depths and intricacies of Sophia's story. And it is on to continual thanks and praise for the Magic of this great world that can make all things possible, if we just dare to set sail.