writing the shadows with the light

It's quite uncomfortable having to write the characters you really love as being human and having moments of, shall we say, cruelty. I understand it's part of the process, but it is still upsetting nonetheless to have to portray the ugly side of someone you have come to love because you know that person winds up having such a beautiful side, it shines beyond any ugliness that was once there. But I suppose it's just as much my job to paint the ugly as it is to paint the beauty. And just as important to truly portray an honest arc of growth throughout the storyline. Sigh... It still leaves me uncomfortable.

And what this cruelty creates for the others in the story is rough as well. I want to comfort them. It's like having kids and you want to tell them, it's okay, it's all going to be okay! I know it all works out in the end! But it wouldn't help telling them because they have to learn it on their own. And honestly there's no way for me to completely know if it does all work out for my characters in the end until the end is written. I sure hope it will work out. It's much easier in real life because, as a wise woman once told me, "everything works out in the end. so if it's not working out, it's not the end." Not as true for a book. I certainly hope it all works out. I have faith in my characters, but they too, are still just human. Nothing to do I suppose but to keep writing and hope for the best.

cheers