Or, at least that's my excuse this time;)
I had the wonderful delight to have my children's grandmother come for an almost two week visit. The adventures we went on were positively fantastic and superb, however they did little in the way of furthering my research endeavors. I could have gone and worked, but I wanted to hang out instead. :) C'est la vie. I am not bothered by it. On the contrary, it has developed in me a shifted focus in the dedication and direction of my research. It may be said I now feel a different type of heat put on. Pressure is the world's best motivator. Well, it's mine at least.
Two new libraries in the past four days and a hearty acknowledgement that there is a lot here I still need to look at. Traipsing around in the woods and aimlessly (but never without purpose) discovering new places for inspiration were absolutely necessary for the first half of this trip, but now it is time to put the pedal to the proverbial metal and reach high gear in the scouring over books part of it. Now that I have a feel for the land, I can apply the words I read at a deeper level of understanding within myself. The complex texture of the fabric of societal and political threads during the time I am researching keeps warping and twisting in my mind and I feel sometimes I will never be able to wrap my mind around exactly what was going on in the hearts of people in this area during the war. Each time I think I have something concrete figured out, some other bit of history comes along to upset whatever belief I thought I had just so firmly grasped. Nothing to do but to keep going.
I feel farther away from Sophia than I think I've ever felt before, but it may be in part to how hard I am struggling to understand her. Like I am trying to force her to divulge things about herself to me when, more often in situations dealing with wanting someone to share their deeper beliefs with you, the best course of action is to be patient yet vigilant to when it might be their right time to divulge and share their emotions and thoughts on the situations. I know already how she feels about Tristan's leaving, Saul's arriving and Daniel. But I want to know why. And that's where I suppose I am going to have to be patient.
And while I can be as patient as I like about waiting for Sophia, I cannot exercise the same patience about exploring the annals of history at the local libraries here. I am looking forward to my discoveries and revelations and am hoping my mind will finally be able to make sense of the motivations behind the actions of my characters, making absolutely sure each character is created and kept in honest accordance with the history of the time.
cheers
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